In loving memory of my mother

Nasira Jabeen

“Mother” – no sweeter word can replace it. “Mother” – the dearest and most precious presence in everyone’s life.

Mother and father come but once in our lives. If they are lost, nothing in this world can bring them back. We lost our gem of a mother, who took her last breath amidst the sobs of all her children at midnight on July 5, 2025 (the 10th of Muharram-ul-Haram), at the age of 81 after a prolonged illness.

My mother tended our family with devotion. She toiled to see our family flourish, entwining her life with my father in an enduring bond on December 12, 1954, when she was just 14 years old. She grew up in the prominent household of Haider Hayat Lal of Mashqandur, Awi, with household staff and was especially sensitive to domestic chores, particularly field work. Fortunately, destiny placed her in a position where she was spared hard physical labor but entrusted with managing the entire household, a duty she fulfilled with utmost efficiency and dedication.

Her seventy-one years of married life left an indelible mark on my father’s heart. He laments her loss, remembering her sincere service to him. Throughout these long years, there was never any inconsistency in her nature. Whether she had plenty or nothing, her temperament remained the same. Her unconditional affection for each of her children and grandchildren was unwavering. She neither demanded anything from us nor complained about our shortcomings.

She was the most affectionate mother. This was her distinct trait. None of us remembers her ever raising her voice, let alone yelling at or striking us, even in the face of our worst childhood tantrums or youthful whims.

My mother selflessly served our family, patiently enduring my father’s quick temper in his youth and calming him with her soft, sensible words. To her, anything that caused inconvenience or trouble for her children was insignificant. All she wanted was our health, safety, and peace of mind. No wonder we all still hold a special corner in our hearts for her. She was fortunate, too, to have caring children and grandchildren who adored her and did everything possible to ensure her comfort and ease.

Though her devotion was unwavering and intense, it never spoiled us. Even while busy with chores, her concern for us was always present, though she did not always express it overtly – we knew her care. Her parenting taught us self-discipline, the value of hard work, and consideration for others.

Other relatives and people in society equally respected my mother. Her harmlessness, non-indulgent nature, sympathy, serenity, and modesty earned her a good name and honor among people, who acknowledged her virtues even more firmly upon her passing.

Always wearing a genial smile, mother was an epitome of compassion and kindness. She was always willing to lend a helping hand, caring for relatives and neighbors in difficult times. She loved good food herself and enjoyed sharing it with others. Alhamdulillah, she relished life’s flavors and moments and delighted in sharing them. Cleanliness was second nature to her. She always wore neat clothes and urged us to remain tidy and organized.

Mother’s life had its share of highs and lows. She handled both with humility and strength. However, certain misfortunes weighed heavily on her. The deaths of two of her sons were especially tragic. One passed away at age three and a half in the late 1960s; another, a martyr in his late 20s, died in 2008. The latter loss profoundly affected her health, which began to decline afterward. In her last five years, her health deteriorated further. Despite all possible treatment and medication, her legs and lower back gradually failed, confining her to a wheelchair.

My elder sister especially served as a beacon of hope for mother in those hard times. She painstakingly and selflessly gave the best care, ensuring mother remained as neat and well cared for as ever. We are grateful to Almighty Allah for giving us this capacity. We owe our sister so much for her generous service. My elder brother, too, offered devoted care, sparing no effort to ensure mother’s comfort and prioritizing her ease above all else.

Nevertheless, mother’s time in this world was destined to end. She has left us for eternity. But her legacy of affection, kindness, and innocence continues to inspire us and others. We will always miss her sweet presence. Now all we can do is pray for her maghfirat, her soul’s salvation, and her eternal rest.

May God grant my mother the highest place in Jannat ul-Firdous and shower patience upon us to bear her departure. Ameen, sum Ameen.

(Ms Nasira Jabeen is Lecturer in English at Govt Girls Degree College (GGDC) Booni, Chitral).