Fear defied
Aqib Ullah (Jangbazar Chitral)
The month was May of 2023 when I decided to appear in the CSS exam, and here the story begins. The preparation for CSS starts from scratch. Completing the syllabus of 12 papers seemed impossible at the time because it was too lengthy. Once the decision is made, there is no turning back. The hype created by the academies and other people regarding CSS exams is too high; that’s why most people feel afraid before making the decision to prepare for the exam, which is known as one of the toughest and most prestigious of all.
In the beginning, sitting from 9 am to 5 pm inside a library seemed like getting myself arrested willingly, but as time went on, and I got used to that routine. All of a sudden, I started enjoying when I made myself conversant with myriad books and brilliant minds waiting to be explored in the pages of books.
The routine was tough, isolation became part of my life, not attending any ceremony didn’t bother me, but when the timetable arrived and papers were to be started on 29 February without any break, actually, one had to attempt two papers per day. The timetable seemed tough again, but the bumpy ride I had faced during the preparation was ample to get the confidence of beating those 6 days without feeling any exhaustion. Papers started, English essay and precise were the very first papers. They went well, and when the remaining compulsory papers started, it sounded that the fear and hype created by a few people regarding CSS wasn’t real and being serious and committed to the goal of passing CSS is more than enough to crack this exam.
The crux of the story is that everyone should appear in CSS exams by putting the fear of failure on the back burner. It is actually the fear that doesn’t allow us to get the confidence of setting higher goals for ourselves.
Being consistent only for 5 to 6 months after surrendering yourself to yourself to make yourself can be more than enough to change the culture of fear created by the people not wanting us even to try for this exam. The only formula which is considered a prerequisite for CSS is your seriousness with your goal and determination to be part of the system in order to bring positive change.
Passing the exams must not worry us but not appearing and trying should always be there to make us feel remorse. The first step is difficult, and when that step is taken, every path is cleared automatically by God as it is mentioned in the Quran “وَأَن لَّيْسَ لِلْإِنسَانِ إِلَّا مَا سَعَىٰ﴾ [ النجم: 39] اور یہ کہ انسان کو وہی ملتا ہے جس کی وہ کوشش کرتا ہے